For about a month my boss has hinted to keep an eye on a position opening at work for the holidays coming up. I've been very eager to work hard to show that I am capable of earning this position, despite that it is only temporary. I wanted to prove myself that I am more than capable of taking up the extra responsibilities.
I had the interview Sunday with the store manager and the merchandise flow supervisor, a.k.a. my boss (I say boss because I work with him more often than the other managers). It went well and I was confident in myself.
But for the past few days I've reflected how I've been working. I'm making easy mistakes and making my boss and myself frustrated in the process (which in my books is not a good thing). So I have been asking myself "is this what I really want right now?" and "Do I deserve this?"
I've prayed about it.
Today I found out I didn't get the temp. position. What's strange is that I find myself relieved that I didn't get it. The more I thought about it the more I realize how scared I was about screwing up royally to the point that they will just simply say, "This isn't going to work" and put me up on the chopping block. I would hate myself for allowing that to happen. At the same time, I was told that there is a great chance of an increase in pay, for me, which I am looking forward to.
There's so much I still need to learn before I'm able to consider thinking of taking up the position as merchandise flow supervisor. In fact, I'm quite happy where I'm at right now. I enjoy going to work, and I love the people I work with which I think is a blessing. Not many people can say they love what they do.
I now believe that God handled the situation for me for numerous reasons. I am so grateful for the opportunity because it has shed some light that I have a lot of growing to do and that's ok.
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